


Hysterically Sane

by Z_Retribution



Category: Smile AU, Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Chaos, Chaotic Good, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), F/M, Hysteria, Insanity, Logic, Mania, Mood Swing, Obsession, Psychology, Sanity, Science, Things are gonna get crazy, deep, it will pick up though, mood disorders, psych is obsessed with smug, psychological conflict, the beginning is the darkest section, there are moments this is dark af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-05-18 14:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14854842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Z_Retribution/pseuds/Z_Retribution
Summary: Under the rule and eyes of the Minister, everything is happy. Everywhere you go there are smiles and euphoric banter like a chain of positivity...no crime, no violence; a utopia at it’s finest. A utopia that is still prone to accidents…After a simple slip on the cement, normal Smile Citizen and psychologist, Sero Z. Apine, has begun feeling unlike herself as the effects of occipital and frontal lobe damage have slowly taken effect, allowing trauma and symptoms of unheard of disorders to seep into her mind, taking her through a sinking emotional toll. She feels all hope disintegrating, however, in this city there is a cure. A doctor with that cure.Was curing Sero with such a dose the right thing to do..? Her level of logic exceeds her insanity, mixing a dangerous state of mind and molding the mind to fit a rare psychological stage: hysterical sanity.“Warning: It gets intense at some sections, especially in the beginning. I insist you are careful with reading if you are sensitive.”- Z.Smile AU by NivillainChapter List based off instrumental pieces of the Unfall Album (IAMX)





	1. TickTickTick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nivilliain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nivilliain/gifts).



> Nivilliain Tumblr: https://nivilliain.tumblr.com/  
> *note: http://nivychee.tumblr.com/  
> they have such beautiful, genius art~! :D
> 
> Z's Tumblr: https://artzdoodles.tumblr.com/  
> *note: artzdoodles is my art/side blog where I post my Psych OC comics. My main is: https://zretribution.tumblr.com/   
> That is where I post a random mess of humor 'n crap
> 
> And just in case you haven't read: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881834/chapters/31939197  
> That is the Smile AU Fic by Nivilliain, Smile Like You Mean It

Depression. 

No one here knows the real meaning of it. That state of mind was almost as extinct as the dinosaurs. Some people even thought it was imaginary; a legend to scare children around a campfire. 

_ It’s fake...it can’t be real…not in this world.  _

_ It is prohibited. Illegal.  _

To display something so upsetting such as a frown to the general public was considered a great felony and disturbance to the happy operation and flow.

Having this in mind, in her current state, there is no way Sero can go out and simply interact like usual.

Ever since this madness started surging - or rather _lack of_ _normal madness_ \- Sero contained herself. She didn’t want to even imagine the aghast stares when she came out in the face of the public. She began imagining their words ringing in her head like the air shattering sound of bullets to the heart: 

**“Look at her. She’s not smiling...”**

**“She looks dead.”**

**“She** **_can’t_ ** **smile anymore…”**

Sero rolled onto her side, tears cascading down her face as the unsaid words echoed in the walls of her mind. She cuffed her hands to the side of her face over her ears as if that would make it go away.   
Curling into fetal position, she gritted her teeth, wading in her anxiety, rocking a bit. The negativity swirling inside of her was incomparable. Sero thought maybe it was all imaginary at first... but it thrived, harvested...and it picked away all of her happiness. The vortex in her mind littered everything that was once pure and gleeful with bitterness, bareness, cold, depressive feelings...and it all began to sink on her. 

It felt like chains holding her against her will and forcing her to stay within her own confines until she withered away. 

**At this point...maybe dying would be better.**

Sero had already gone a day without food and her stomach had begun to growl and rebel against her. She was in awful health and becoming weaker by the day.

By the hour…

Down to the minutes.

Tomorrow was her doctor’s appointment...if she didn’t die on her way to the hospital. She called in a few days ago and asked to set up a simple physical. She didn’t want to alarm any medical personnel with sudden urgent emergency, as that may be a general disturbance to the public, so she simply filed it as a check-up.

**Big mistake.**

Sero thought she could go a few more days with these thoughts, but she soon realized she was detrimentally mistaken.

It was her fault for being so stupid... 

**This is my punishment.**

Sero rolled to her other side and bit down on her lip as not to cry out. 

Everything was crumbling down. She lost her smile…

In here, a person’s smile was everything. The most important factor. 

_ It was just an accident...it’s not my fault…!  _ Her sanity weakly lashed against the monstrous darkness. 

**But it is because I’m the one who tripped...because I’m the one who stumbled...my fault.**

**My fault.**

**My fault...**

She suddenly sat up, quickly changing her position in hopes of shaking out the bolded negativity drilling holes in her skull. 

“G...go away…” 

She felt too broken for anymore tears to stream; the river of sadness faltered in its current for the time being. 

Her head slowly gazed over to the mirror. 

The reflection shown back a gaunt, pale, miserable creature. Unlike all the other euphoric people of the city ruled under the Minister, this strange, foreign person wore a twisted, upside-down smile; the corners of her mouth drooping. 

She moved her thumb and pointer finger up to her face slowly and forced her lips upwards, in hopes of maybe finding residue of her past gleeful state which was taken away from her so abruptly. 

Her thin, ashy black, unhealthy strands of hair framed her face and rolled down her back to her hips; staggered with split ends and and dead tips. The greyish looking skin on her once rosy cheeks creased from the fingers still holding the corners of her mouth in place. 

Reluctantly, Sero let go and her face fell. 

Just like every other times she tried. 

Everyday.

**Failure.**

The twinge of pain that had initially stuck her when she heard that word - “failure” - had become no more than a numbed prick in the side of her mind. She was slowly becoming used to it all. 

She stayed there motionless on her bed. The minutes continuing to pass and tick by. 

_ TickTickTick… _

Her blank mind began to copy the sounds she heard. 

_ TickTickTick… _

She flashed back: remembering the feeling of sun on her skin, the mindlessly generated, happy smile plastered on everyone’s faces, the pleasant stroll around the amusement park…

_ TickTickTick… _

...the way people waved and smiled, the Hat Bots doing patrol to keep everyone safe, the smell of sweet treats and food flooding her senses…

_ TickTickTick… _

...The seemingly unexplainable joyful banter…

**Tick.**

_...the way she so vulnerable and casually walked because she thought everyone, including herself was safe and unprone to simple mistakes… _

**Tick.**

_...the way she stumbled so pathetically on accident on what appeared to be nothing.  _

**Tick.**

_...everyone rushing to ask her if she was okay, but she just sat there on the cement, her head bleeding in the back. _

**TickTick.**

_...the paramedics arriving quickly and aiding her back to health. _

**TickTickTick.**

_...the way she was told “you are okay” and released back to the public filling everyone with relief. Everyone but her...  _

**TickTickTickTickTickTick.**

_...staying deserted in her living quarters, cooped up and hiding from everyone as she felt herself become light headed and everything around her change colors. The random pigments of colors spiraling into her vision. The realization she wasn’t happy. The realization she couldn’t smile. The thoughts overcrowding and racing in her mind, bouncing back and forth without rest. _

**TickTickTickTickTickTickTickTickTick.**

Numbness.

“…”

She sighed. 

_ I can control this still...I’m still in control…  _ Sero pushed back the thoughts of her small panic attack and breathed deeply to resteady her heart rate. 

She kicked her feet over the edge of the bed and heard a distinct snap. Her joints cracked back into place after laying down for almost a full 24 hours. She hadn’t the willpower to get up earlier, but she knew she needed to move eventually. 

She stretched her pain filled limbs and carried herself to the kitchen, dragging her feet, paranoid she may fall again and this time wind up with something far worse. 

On her way to her destination she used the restroom and slightly rejuvenated herself as she would have normally done: washing her face, brushing her teeth, and combing down her hair..

But even these simple tasks felt different to her...normally she did it all with a bright beaming face but now it all dragged out longer and was slower as her movements creaked in her muscles like a programmed robot with no real purpose. 

Finishing up, Sero shuffled along to the kitchen. She needed something to eat. Food would help battle off these unapproachable feelings in her mind.

Most of the time she was able to push back these overpowering flooding emotions with her own logic and sense, but even then sometimes she questioned herself not too sure if it was her thoughts or not anymore. 

Sero understood basic functioning of the human mind and had extensive background working with psychology, anatomy, and other sciences. It made her feel  _ too confident _ in herself sometimes...too proud to admit she was one way in psychological terms when she saw herself as the other.  

She could actually identify all of the active feelings inside of her…

She just couldn’t separate them…

Nor was she sure when they would erupt. 

_ Brain damage of sorts for sure...perhaps in the hippocampus?  _

She hummed in thought attempting to think of something logical she could follow.

_ But no...that piece is also important to the limbic system and the way one would operate in movements...then again...I do appear to be slower… _

She shook her head closing the pantry doors. This is why psychologist shouldn’t analyze themselves: they would notice broader things and then their mind would react to their thoughts and they would begin to believe the worst was happening. 

It was a basic understood psychological concept.

In defeat, Sero sat down at the table, the lights in the kitchen left off. Her mopey form juxtaposed against the ray of sunlight which invaded through the small opening past the window curtain. She hissed at the sunlight she once admired for warmth. 

It hurt too much now. 

Her eyes had become much too sensitive for sunlight...the one that worked still at least. Her right eye wasn’t opening as well anymore and her vision was more hazed, smothered by odd colored pixels everywhere...   

_ Perhaps...I am reaching insanity? _

Her thoughts were interrupted by the stabbing harsh pain from her stomach that made her hunch over in agony. She was literally starving. Her stomach lining was being worn down as her pH level was rising to attack herself. 

Sero’s eyes widened in some horror and realization: she needed something to eat or she was going to die. She was balancing on a tightrope of chance now…

_ There is no more food...I’ve eaten it all and haven’t gone out in three weeks to restock… _

That’s why she didn’t find anything from her previous search.

_ But if I don’t eat… _

She looked around to the side, still hunched over in pain. 11:11 in the morning...It was getting close to lunch hour, and that was when the streets were most crowded and busy. She would be noticed by someone if she didn’t smile. 

But she  _ couldn’t  _ smile. 

Knowing the detriment of her situation and the choices she had her tears started back up. She either had to go out and face the public...or she would have to starve to death, her stomach acids slowly burning and digesting her own insides. 

She coughed harshly between her sobs. 

She is in no condition to do this…

But there is  _ no way  _ she wanted to die the day before she could potentially be helped. 

_ Just a quick market run...nothing more...I can hide my face… _

Sero reached one of her trembling hands to the far side of the table and slid over a paper bag from her last grocery run from about a month ago. Picking up some scissors, she cut holes into the bag, trying to control her shaky hands. 

It was going to be very suspicious...but maybe... _ just maybe _ ...she could pull it off. 

_ Besides, the vice president does it, I can too… _

She slid the paper bag over her head, masking her face and covering up her frown and river across her cheeks. 

Sero looked in the mirror a few times and blinked. 

_ This is stupid… _

With a final disparaging sigh, she opened the front door and stepped to the outdoors.  

 


	2. Running Point

Instantly, upon going outdoors, Sero hissed and covered her eyes with her hands. It was much brighter than she had presumed. She kept her eyes sealed shut and lowered her arms to her sides casually. 

Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and looked around through the makeshift eye holes she made in the bag. Everything was lighter looking in color and it made it hard to see, almost as if her vision was being put through some sort of filter. The strange random particles of color soared in her vision with the bright light of the surrounding world, making her feel dizzy and unbalanced.

She straightened her back, ignoring the stabbing pain still on her sides and stomach. She looked around to the side to see if anyone was coming her way, but the streets looked empty. Her vision wasn’t the best however... 

Everyone was most likely off and about being social just as usual, scrambling to get lunch with friends as many did at this hour, giving her some time and making her less noticeable to the general majority.

But then again...the bag was a major eye-drawer. 

She just had to have a crescent, sliver of hope. 

_ I can do this...I can do this… _

She began to walk down the street, looking both ways, paranoid of a person showing up. As she proceeded, she saw every fleeting moment as a second she could just simply dash back inside to the confines of her home, once she got to the corner however, she knew she couldn’t turn back.

There were people. All of them talking, smiling, laughing….

Some immediately glanced to her with strange looks. 

Sero had to hurry now…

One foot in front of the other;  _ left, right, left, right…  _ The monotonous pattern continued and as she got used to the feeling of walking in the heat of the sun around the town, she began to drown out the judgemental stares of the people. She knew she looked so suspicious, but it would look much worse if she just frowned; think of the social awkwardness of having someone smile and wave and then her unable to smile and wave back…

Anxiety of the situation stressed Sero and normally she would have had a panic attack and fled home after getting halfway down the street, but there were bigger factors wrestling those mental states now: she was literally starving and the heat of the sun under the bag made it harder to breath and the air felt more humid than what she had expected. Perhaps this was just the effects of being reclusive for so long.

_ It’s...not so bad...at least no one is overreacting… _

Of course no one would “overreact” here...under the Minister’s rule everyone was safe. The only people to really worry about were the “freedom fighters,” who notoriously tried to prevent the happiness of others. Although Sero looked suspicious she was not too much so to the point of looking like one of those infamous people. 

Besides, the vice president wears a bag over his head... seemed like fair game.

Sero turned into the lot where the small, relatively unpacked neighborhood market was. Thankfully no one was crowding since it was almost noon. The lot seemed relatively vacant and her eyes focused on the automatic sliding door entrance. She quickly walked over, right in the middle of the lot wanting to get in hastily. A car honked at her as she walked in the middle of the road. They had almost hit her, but luckily saw her in the nick of time. 

“Hey! Be careful! I could have hit you, miss…” They said, sticking out their head from the window. 

Sero’s heart thundered from the fright of the loud horn and she thought she may explode. It was unseen, but her eyes bulged from under the bag and she quaked, trying to calm down, not hearing the person in the vehicle as she moved back under the roof of the building.  

The person stayed in their car, realizing they must have terrified the woman...but also noticing the very odd bag over her head. They puzzled there for a moment and slowly drove away. She looked like she meant no harm….but this was very peculiar activity…this couldn’t go unknown.

As Sero entered the through the doors, making it back into air conditioning, the person in the car parked again and pulled out their phone, dialing in a number they memorized by heart. 

“Hello...yes...I would like to report some strange activity…”  

 

Sero walked into the store and some heads of workers turned immediately. They gave their normal greeting of “Hello and welcome!” but there was a questioning gaze shining in their eyes...Why would a person walk into a store covering their face and hiding their gaze…? 

“Hey, man...who is that? It’s not Dr. Smug, but they are wearing a paper bag…” One of the cashier said to the other. 

“I have no idea...it’s a bit...freaky.” The other said. “We should probably alert the manager or something…” 

“Yeah but, they can’t be a freedom fighter either, can they?”

“Well, we don’t know that..! The longer we wait the more trouble this could boil down to…” 

The two stared at each other for a moment and then back over at Sero until she disappeared from their sight in the produce section.

They noticed other customers feeling a bit uneasy as well. 

“Yeah...let’s get the manager…” 

Sero knew she had to hurry. Too many people seemed to be getting too concerned. She didn’t want to frighten anyone...she only needed some food. 

Her thoughts raged inside of her, vortexing her negativity against her. She shook and held onto her arms, slouching her shoulders. 

_ Come on...pull yourself up. Tomorrow, everything will be normal and better.  _ She tried to throw positive light on the depressive storm of thoughts in her mind.

She turned to isle 11. Simple canned food and some snacks. She didn’t need anything too big so this would have to work for now until she could go to the grocery store and really buy out the whole shop. 

Two civilians passed her by. Sero avoided eye contact and just looked to their waist down, her eyes focused more on the names of food: potatoes, roast, chicken, tomato soup, pasta, chips, cookies... her mouth watered. She needed something badly.

Her stomach growled again, causing her to bend over a bit and grab her empty side. She made it look more natural by leaning forward and grabbing the first soup can she saw and then standing back up.

_ Hmm...Mushroom Brie Soup...that’ll do. At least it is something.. _

Sero began to shuffle out of the isle, her feet tired. She was worn...but now she had to purchase the can, get home, and prepare the food so she could finally eat. It may not sound like much activity, but it was more than loafing around and crying like she had done for three weeks.

“Excuse me.” 

A deep voice suddenly in front of her alerted her attention. Her eyes slowly trailed up to meet the eyes of someone who appeared to be the manager of the store...the employees must have finally managed to get the man. She clutched the can tighter. 

“I’m not too sure if you mean any trouble...but do you understand that you have spiked a lot of suspicion? People here are getting worried. I’m going to have to ask you to remove the bag.” 

Sero was paralyzed as she heard those words. She felt the eyes of others watching and the unwavering stare of the man in front of her was unwavering. Her mind was so chaotic and disorderly with so many thoughts and panicked waves...it was all moving so quickly off the frame of her mind to the point she felt more empty.   
“Now.” 

Her heart sank deeper along with the rest of her organs. Normally, she would have been able to thoroughly explain her situation and defend her point, but in the state she was in she was not only positive she would fail but her Broca’s area seemed to come to a hasty halt, which left Wernicke's area screaming. 

Some foreign feeling was coursing through her veins. Her logical mind, had it not been long since fried by the stress of her frantic one, knew exactly what it was. Psychologically, she entered the “fight or flight” moment. Her limbs began to get pumped with more energy as though there was no break on the acceleration in her mind. 

It was flight.  

Faster than her mind could process it, her legs took off. 

Sero’s ears numbed out the shrill screams of customers as she dashed through the isles. She was soon pursued through the small store by other employees while the panicked citizens dodged her and moved out of the way. Her vision became a blur as if she could not see anything but the exit to the store anymore. 

Initially she was going to pay for the can, but now she was too scared to stop. It wasn’t as if the cashier would help her now. 

She ran into the automatic door, slamming her face on it. She had expected it to open, but it seems the entire store was in lock down now. 

She panted as she hit the floor with a thud. She blinked and looked around in a confused manner, but then got up the moment she noticed people rushing to her. She yelped and sprinted back up on her feet in less then a half second.

Sero headed in the direction with less people, dodging anyone who seemed too close and pushing them back. She felt her hand shunt someone over and immediately she would have apologized, but needed to run. 

She wanted to stop this madness but her bodily movements seemed to be just as mad as her mind. 

Sero couldn’t stop. 

She was back at the back of the store, her breathes quick and cold sweat running down her face. She was in the freezer section with the cold fresh meat surrounding her on the walls...and the employees closing in, trying to catch her still. 

As they approached, she sprang over their shoulders and dodged their grabbing hands, ducking her head below, bouncing up in the air, sliding to the side...she let her body take over making sure her hands were on the soup can the entire time. 

As she barely squeezed past people, they fell into the frigid ice chests, to the side on the floor, or simply just began to move back, not wanting to fight. 

She felt so guilty. She really had no intention of doing any of this. She didn’t know what was wrong with her or why she was doing any of this. She just needed a can of soup so she wouldn’t starve. Even if she wasn’t deliberately harming anyone, as she merely made defensive moves of pushing people back and blocking, she knew this was considered very wrong and immoral.

Just as usual, she felt...she was only making things worse. 

Even that felt like an understatement in the moment. 

Sero would be crying if she wasn’t so high on adrenaline. 

She needed to get out... _ now! _

She saw her chance: there was a break between two of the people and she sprung up in the air quickly, flipping onto the manager’s broader shoulders and then using his shoulders as a base to jump forward, farther in the air. In a swift movement, she landed on the top of the isle shelf. Without another thought, she continued to run back over to the exit, some items falling off the shelf as she continued.

_ Gymnastics was paying off.  _

Everything was smeared and covered in a gaussian blur except for the exit: the red lights glowing above it like a haven. 

The door was still locked... _ how am I going to get out? What am I doing?  _ She thought are she began to charge at full speed before bouncing forward, her legs shooting up the rest of her body into the air, bulleting towards the exit. 

Everything flowed slowly, the seconds passing by slower than small drops of due accumulating and falling off leaves in the morning. She sealed her eyes shut and clutched the soup can, feeling like she was denting it in her tightened grip. 

There was a sudden distinct crash of glass as she tucked in her head close to her shoulders and curled up more into a ball in the air. Her senses flew to maximum: she felt stings on her arms, on her legs, and faintly the sound of small, subtle tears of seamed fabric on her jacket. The most notable fleeting detail being the sudden feeling of air rushing by her entire, sweaty face. The bag which covered her distinct frown tore away and left her facial features that weren’t covered by her hair exposed. 

The world picked up and everything flew faster. Sero flipped on the ground and landed on her feet, blinded from the action and stiff. Her once hyperactive senses dulled and became numb to her surroundings; the only feeling being the sun, beating down on her skin as she panted loudly, more from shock than anything else. 

Slowly she began to come back to her senses as she felt cool metal, grab her arm hastily and speak in a mechanical voice.

“You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you…” 

As her eyes came into focus she noticed the cuffs on her wrists. She was now completely circled by the Hat-Bots of the town, smaller ones and senitals alike; and in the distance were the eyes of the wary citizens. 

_ Was this what it was like to be the bad guy…?  _

A smaller Hat-Bot came up and snatched the can she had held on to as if it was her life line. She watched the Hat-Bot place the can off to the side. As it rolled on it’s side out of her reach closer to the shattered glass of the store’s doors, all of her determination and hope crumbled. 

Sero stayed on the ground in a heap and just let one of the Hat-Bot senitals pick her up and drag her away with their robotic arms. Her feet dangled as she was wrapped tightly in their large grip. Her eyes averted from the crowd and away from the can of soup, down to the cement ground. 

Everything was more quiet now. Normally, the sound of laughter droned on and people’s smiles shined brightly but everywhere the Hat-Bots passed with her the banter would die down until she entirely left and was no longer in ear shot. The excessive discussion turned to whispers of her “pathetic, unlawful form,” she assumed so at least. 

She turned her head closer to the sentinel as though she was a child and curled into a more fetal position. The sudden action made the Hat-Bot’s grip on her tighten though. Her ribs ached and her lungs were pinched by the mechanical claws. She would have yelped if she wasn’t feeling so weak and ragged already.

She knew she was in unimaginable trouble.

She couldn’t smile, defied the Minister, defied the law, and couldn’t even manage to speak to defend herself. She had never caused this much trouble...or even just  _ seen _ this much chaos. Hell...she had no idea what the price of this disaster was…

They continued on walking for a good while until they reached some double doors. The smaller Hat-Bot’s opened up the doors and the sentinel carrying Sero walked in first. 

She looked down to the ground again, her eyes not moving around. This was it. She was screwed for sure.

The Hat Bot’s continued on through the large place until they reached the very end door and knocked. 

There was some movement from the inside, just some shuffled papers, Sero assumed, but she wasn’t too nosy to bother and find out what it was exactly. She looked away and closed her eyes.

The door creaked open. “What happened? Is this the person who the person earlier reported?”

Sero’s eyes flew open. She knew that voice anywhere. It was the vice president. She sealed her eyes tighter and tensed up quickly, causing the Hat Bot sentinel to squeeze her tighter thinking she was trying to move away. Sero whimpered.

“That’s enough. Hand her here.” He extended his arms and took Sero from the Hat-Bot, his hands,though gloved, much more gentle and careful than the robot’s...but still cold.  

The first thing the bagged man noticed was how light she weighed. She felt malnourished, extremely unhealthy...and she was very obvious not affected by the euphoric virus…

He walked back into the lab and simply placed her down on the hospital bed, not bothering to strap her down as she looked weak and frail enough as she was. 

It was time to get some answers. 

“Good afternoon...My name is Dr. Smug...and as it seems, you have _a lot of explaining to do._ ”  


	3. Polar 1

Sero stayed motionless as Dr. Smug spoke. She was in front of the vice president and she had caused so much trouble. Her heart rate picked up again and her eye twitched; she was about to have another panic attack.

Smug noticed the signs of clear distress and raised a gloved hand to her’s. “Please, calm down. I’m only asking simple questions. I’m not going to punish you harshly or anything; you are in no condition for any of that...I just want to help.” 

Something in his tone of voice made her muscles relax and she just sat there and sighed. 

“How about you give me your name?” Smug said as he pulled out some paper and a clip board, prepared to write. 

Sero’s mind was pulling blanks everywhere out of every crevice of her mind. Her lips opened to say something but nothing came out. Her Broca’s area still hadn’t the willpower to pronounce much; but she needed to…

“S...Sero Z. Apine….”

He jotted down the name as the syllables were announced and he clicked his pen. “And do you have an appointment to see anyone at the hospital, Miss Sero?” 

“...yes. Tomorrow. I have an appointment tomorrow.” She said quickly.

“Tomorrow? This seems like an urgent issue to be pushed off? Any particular reasoning for letting this go on...?” Hidden under his bag was a questioning gaze at the peculiar activity.

“...I-I didn’t...want to tr-trouble anyone...I thought it wasn’t important…” 

He nodded and added the words “low self esteem” to the paper. “You don’t think anything pertaining to your health is important?”   

“...yeah…” She nodded with a muttered voice. 

Smug wrote “depression” next to the previous words. His hand reached out to the phone line and he began to dial in a number. 

Sero sat there, watching his actions and wondering what he was doing and what he was going to do about her. So far he seemed fair enough…

Someone picked up on the other end and Smug began talking into the line. “Yes, hello. This is Dr. Smug. I have one of your future patients with me right now, her name is Sero Z. Apine...Yes….I would like you to cancel her appointment. I am going to take care of her here right now.” 

Sero’s eyes widened in some surprise.  _ He was going to fix all of this…How?? _

“Alright then. Thank you very much. Goodbye.” He then promptly hung up and directed his attention back to Sero. 

She was gaunt and looked miserable...he had seen cases like this before, but now he needed to find out how, why, and what percentages of each dose she was going to need…

He clicked his pen back and looked to her with a kind, hidden smile. It was much easier to speak to patients like this. 

“Alright Sero...I know you are having a rather rough time right now. It is simple to tell by your expression even now. Do you know how this all happened? When you started feeling like this?” 

Sero coughed and fidgeted for a moment. “I...I tripped...hit my head.” 

That made sense to Smug...it explained a lot about her own speech too. A rattle and knock to the head was enough to shake up the limbic system. This particular knock up most likely spreaded brain wide and changed the patterns of her thinking...yet still...that did not answer why she was so depressed and anxious.

“How long ago did this happen…?” 

Sero began to sputter again. It was so hard to speak and it frustrated her so much. She looked like an idiot in front of him. She wanted to participate and do well because she knew he was doing a psychological run and trying his best to help her, though he didn’t need to...he was just compassionate like that. 

**_But I am acting like a fool that will not cooperate._ **

Silent tears began rolling down her cheeks as her negative state invaded and attacked her. 

Smug watched her struggle to speak and turned to the side, promptly grabbing a tissue box and handing it to her. 

“It’s alright to cry. I understand you are not well...” He hummed thinking of how to pull answers from her still. 

“How about if I ask you yes or no questions you nod or shake?” Smug thought of a solution as Sero covered her face, wiping away the stream from her eyes and sniffing. 

If Dr. Smug could find out a general period of time, he could find out the possible bodily origin of the issue. Most of the time in these rare cases, it was a slow built up immunity, originating of course from a hyperactive immune system. 

“Did this take about a week or so to develop?”  

Sero looked up for a moment to Smug and then nodded slowly. It took a little under a week precisely...it was a gradual process but she remember the first thing was that she could no longer smile as she used to. 

Smug nodded. Just as he thought; it was more than likely an immune system problem that stemmed from the issue...but how did it develop…?

“And after this accident you couldn’t smile, I assume?” 

She nodded again.

“And because you couldn’t smile...you have begun to think lower of yourself, haven’t you? You don’t see yourself as the same because you can’t smile the same?” 

She paused for a moment paralyzed by the precise words. Of course, Sero knew it was the obvious and true answer, afterall, she studied psychology too so she knew how this worked...but it was like a dull knife to her realization. 

She bit down on her lower lip and buried her face in the pile of tissue in her hands like a small child, curling up with her knees tucked in. She nodded in the tissues.

Smug watched her for a moment and then looked back to his clipboard. It wasn’t so painful to watch people break down. He had seen enough of it before that the feeling of pity was numbed. He was more concerned about just getting patients out and smiling. 

“Well...you know it’s not true though. It’s all in your mind.” 

Sero looked up at him with a questioning gaze. 

“I know you are intellectual, Sero. Just listen and you can tell what I’m saying: it’s all a mental state. Just because these negative thoughts are clouding doesn’t mean you aren’t still Sero Z. Apine. You are still the same, smiling person you were before...it’s all just a shift in mental energies...and that is why I am here. I want to make certain you smile all the time...I can fix it. You just need to trust me.”

“..What if it doesn’t?” She suddenly said after a pause. Her eyes looked to the ground, not wanting to meet Smug’s gaze. “Medicine only temporarily numbs the feeling of any mental state...it never cures.” Her brows furrowed. “And no...I am different. I’m not the same anymore. When a mind changes energies, it changes the person...I...I’m  not Sero anymore am I…?” 

Her head stayed down as Smug wore a grimace under his bag. He wrote down “increased will to power.” She didn’t even want to accept his words of compassion...and it was actually quite irksome. 

“Sero...look at me please.” 

She hesitantly did so, looking to his goggles and inked smile. 

“Do you trust me?” 

She nodded. 

“And you understand that when I say something, I mean it.” 

She paused and nodded again.

“Then what I said earlier still stands: I will make certain you smile. I am not going to give you prescription medicine, Sero. I’m giving you a cure. Understand?”

She took a moment to process everything and then nodded again.

“Good. You are still Sero, okay? You are the same intellectual, strong willed person and I will make sure you feel like that again. Now…” 

He began to shuffle around his papers again and retook up his pen. He still needed some more answers. 

“Can you smile _ at all _ ? Even the slightest?”

Sero shook her head “no.” She had been trying since it started, but nothing worked.

“Not even from humor? Memes?” 

She tilted her head and blinked. “...memes…?” 

Dr Smug stared at her questioning face. “You...don’t know what memes are?” 

Her constant stare answered that question on it’s own. 

“Well...I will have to show you later then I suppose.” He chuckled and gave a concealed, yet still genuine smile. 

Sero’s eyes widened. He had such nice laughter too. She wished she could see his smile from under the bag...it was probably beautiful…

She snapped out of those thoughts as Smug looked back at her.

“Alright, I assume you stayed hidden by merely staying within your living quarters this whole time?” 

She nodded.

“Mhm...and you came out today...have you eaten anything?” 

The mention of food made her stomach ache slightly and give a small whine. She clutched her side and bent over slightly in her seat, looking up to him with some blush as she shook her head.

That also made a lot of sense...considering the food would help increase the mind’s euphoria...but even with food, it seemed her immune system would break down the virus promptly...he took a note of that, but needed to see if it would work. Trauma and separation were likely the causes of this all...knowing that helped him calculate the dose. 

“How about we have some lunch? I haven’t eaten at all either. What are you in the mood for? I know you haven’t had anything for a while so I am willing to order anything you want.”   

Sero’s mouth watered as she thought of food; _ any food she wanted... _

She had no idea what she wanted though...she would be fine with anything that was edible at this point. Deciding was so hard...and more than that:  _ lunch with the vice president?!  _

Her mind raced and screamed in excitement.

Dr. Smug looked to her. She seemed...shocked. He supposed this was a typical reaction he should have seen coming. He chuckled again. 

“Yes, anything you want, Sero. Whatever will help you the most.” 

“...I-I d-don’t know...What do...What do you normally have?” She asked quietly. 

Smug hummed. “Well, I tend to switch between dishes to eat. That makes it more diverse in flavor. Hm...do you like pizza? That’s a classic.” 

Sero nodded her head quickly. She loved pizza! She was also starving…! She felt like she could eat a whole one by herself.

“Pizza it is then! Do you want any specific toppings?” 

“H-how about...bacon? Meat?” Sero asked with wide, saucer eyes. The more food was mentioned the more her hunger was obvious and the more her stomach ached to be fed. 

“Sounds good. Anything to drink? With your condition I suggest something uncarbonated. It may upset your stomach more.”

Her stomach growled. She wanted something like root beer, but Dr. Smug had a point...more than that he sounded like he actually cared. If she wasn’t so hungry she would have been amazed by his seeming kindness. 

“...just water…” 

“Good choice. That is the most hydrating after all…” He walked over to the phone and picked it up. He started to dial but mid dial he paused and looked back. “Is that everything you want?” 

Sero looked to the side and then back to him and nodded. She was surprised by his considerate generosity...of course, perhaps he acted like this to everyone for courtesy and reputation purposes...  

Smug nodded back and finished dialing the number. “Good afternoon, this is Dr. Smug…” 

The voice on the other end spoke kinda loudly but it was still muffled from where Sero was, but she could tell they were excited. Smug held the phone a bit further back and looked to Sero with a smile awkward smile.

“You never know if the person who answers is gonna be super energetic or not…” He mumbled over in a low tone and then went back to speaking. 

“I would like to place an order for delivery...Can I get two large pizzas? One cheese and the other meat. I would also like a salad please and two chocolate chip cookies.” 

Sero tilted her head at the extra items, but wasn’t going to question. 

The loud voice spoke some more for a moment and Smug held out the phone slightly and responded once the speaking ceased. “Yes, thank you very much...Goodbye.” 

He hung up and sighed, putting the phone down in its rightful place. “I know you said you didn’t want anything extra, but I thought maybe a cookie or something would be nice too.” He smiled under his bag and sat down in his chair.

“Now we just need to wait…” He said lowly.

Sero sat there quiet and still. She was not very good company, and she was sure she was just eating up Dr. Smug’s time. So impolite of her…

Maybe she should have just waited in the house another day...she felt bad about taking up so much of his time and causing such a commotion at the neighborhood grocery store. Her Wernicke’s area formed an apology and just as she had the will to say something, Smug spoke over. 

“Now...I know you said can’t smile...but do you mind if I try to see if you can make you smile? You said you don’t know what memes are right?” 

Sero was a bit confused but she nodded her head. “I-I suppose you could...try. I don’t know what this ‘memes’ you speak of means though…”

“I think you will like them.” He said pulling out his laptop and sitting next to Sero. 

 

Some time passed and there was a knock on the lab door. Sero and Smug were sitting down and watching a try not to laugh challenge. 

“Hang on. I’ll get it.” Dr. Smug jumped up and went to get the door. 

Sero continued to watch the video. She wore a straight face through the entire time even though she actually did find this all very funny. It was humorous and entertaining to say the least, though some were just amusing for no reason. She heard Smug chuckle and laugh at a few of the videos and some of the pictures and it made her feel...comforted? She wasn’t too sure what to call the feeling. 

But she bet it was her happiness...It felt so foreign having been gone for so long, but she felt a slight bit of something from just being my Smug. At least he was trying. 

He was much different then she had expected. Sure, he always seemed kind on the occasions she had seen him in public, but as a patient she saw more of his behavior...and he just seemed so kind.

Even if he was doing so with the intention of simply psychologically healing. 

It was still kindness to her. 

A Hat-Bot handed him his order and he thanked the little robot and closed the door again. “Here it is!” He placed it down on a small table and took his laptop back, closing the tab and shutting the top, placing it over to the side.

Sero’s attention went right to the smell of pizza that filled the entire room upon entering. Her mouth watered more than ever and she looked to Smug for a moment. “Th-thank you very much…!” And immediately she let the lid fly open and she threw a slice of pizza in her mouth, chomping it down. 

Smug cringed as she dove into it, but he was aware she was literally starving. “Of course, Sero, enjoy.” He walked over more to the side and pulled out the salad he ordered for himself. He sat back down in his seat and began to eat a little bit. Their banter from earlier quieted as Sero had some chowing to do. 

“After you are finished, I believe I have all the calculations I need...I can run the procedure on you and you will be smiling before you step out.” He said. 

Sero continued eating almost not hearing him. She nodded and then paused for a moment in thought. Her mind suddenly buzzed with two things…

One: a question. What procedure was he speaking of..? It probably didn’t matter much though; no matter what she would be smiling so she shrugged it off.

But two: ‘step out…’ Something about that made her heart suddenly plummet more. She didn’t want to leave…

She swallowed her food. “What kind of procedure will this be...exactly..?” She asked a little hesitantly.

Smug concealed his smile from under his bag and gave a small almost dark sounding chuckle. “You will be fine...no worries...I just have to run this small procedure. It may sting you a little, but all you want is a smile, yes~?”

Sero stopped eating for a moment and just looked to him. Suddenly...she felt something was a little off...but...this was for her happiness right…? She had felt so miserable for the past three weeks…

_ What was telling her “no?” _

“...Y-yeah…” 

“Excellent. Finish eating and we can get started.” Smug said turning in his seat, lifting his bag slightly, and eating some more of his salad. Under his bag, he continued to hide a knowing smile.


	4. Hysteria

Sero ate slowly after she snarfed down a whole pizza. 

She offered a slice to Dr. Smug but he held out his hand and she saw his smile as his bag was slightly lifted. “I’m fine, thanks! You can have it all...oh! And don’t forget the cookie. One of them is for you as well.” 

She suddenly felt some blush in her cheeks as she saw his smile...he was so kind and generous...even though she was not wearing a smile. She knew he would fix that, but it was very…

Sweet. 

Sero wasn’t used to that sort of kindness from people.

And she definitely had not expected it from Smug for some reason.

She decided to be finished with the last pizza after consuming half of it and nibbled on the cookie. She hadn’t had one in so long she almost forgot how much she enjoyed them. 

She felt herself lighten up a little bit. Her cheeks felt lifted; the corners of her mouth wanted to push up somewhat. 

Dr. Smug watched Sero, glancing occasionally, discretely observing. Of course the kindness he was displaying had some effect. Simple optimism and display of mild niceness was very effective on emotionally unstable and depressed minds since it provided simple relief. All it took was a little facade and her behavior was already improving...very typical in minds like hers. He was so used to it. 

He noticed her face lighten up...but it wasn’t quite a smile. It was so close though. She was almost there. With a little push more maybe she would be smiling again much sooner…

But he didn’t have time for that. 

This needed to be more immediate.

She needed to be cured. 

Once Sero finished her cookie, Smug moved his bag over his face and finished up on his salad, pushing it off to the side. “You seem ready…” 

Sero looked away and chewed on the last little bit of cookie in her mouth before swallowing. She was still worried. Something in her mind was against all of this suddenly. 

But he was so nice…

“Yeah…” 

Smug smiled and stood up, offering her a hand to help her off the hospital bed. “Excellent...we can get started then.” 

Sero was hesitant and stared at his hand for a moment, much to Smug surprise. “Is something the matter, Sero? You do trust me, don’t you?”

Her mind screamed and raced around, frantic thoughts beating the walls of her mind. She wasn’t sure what though...but it kept trying to reason out how this was a bad idea...even though she knew it was the right thing…

**_What’s wrong?!_ **

“...Why do you hide your face?” She abruptly said, needing to forlong the process and ease this feeling. 

Smug was slightly taken aback at the rather random question. He saw this as her way of stalling and there was a small tick within his eyes. Had he not treated her perfectly kindly up to this point? What was the purpose in wasting time like this?

No matter. It would be done one way or another. 

“Well, I am more conservative in the presentation of my face I suppose, but that is just my own prefered response to such a question...Are you satisfied now?” He held out his hand hoping that vague response would appease her. 

“I’d...feel more...easy if you didn’t hide under your bag though…I like your smile...” Sero barely whispered out. 

Smug blinked and then chuckled. How adorable. 

He slowly moved his hands to the bag and lifted it off his head. His fluffy, neatly groomed black hair framed his pale, firm structured face well. His eyes stared into her’s; black and holding a deep, spacious gleam. A small, soft smile spread on his face to complete his ethereal features and his hand moved back into its former place, beckoning forth Sero. 

“There. I can leave it off for you and hold your hand through the procedure if you need. I know it may seem a little frightening, but I guarantee you will be smiling again. I never fail in accomplishing that.”

Sero blinked and looked at him. He was beautiful. She felt her cheeks turn bright red as he added to this kind offer to not only help her smile, but also hold her hand through it. Her shaky hand went out and with no more hesitation she placed her small hand in his larger, gloved one. Even though his hand was covered, she felt some warmth through his gloves, contrasting against the coolness of her skin. 

“Excellent. Let’s begin, shall we? It is only a small move to the other side over there.” Smug pointed and Sero’s eyes followed to another hospital operation looking bed. Her heart made a small leap in her chest from minor anxiety, and she gulped, but as Smug began to move, she went with him, his hand firmly connecting hers.

Though it was only a few steps, Sero was still uneasy and the walk felt like a few minutes to her, the strange ominous feeling still lingering in the back of her mind. 

Smug let her sit down on the bed and he sat down on a rolling office chair that was adjacent. Beside him was an array of needles with some fluids in beakers, some yellow, some black and he was preparing something from the black one for Sero.

Sero looked around in curiosity, but then Smug stood back up and moved to her other side preparing a drip and needle to insert. 

“Can you lie down for me please?” 

Sero silently obeyed, shifting her body to lay down on the bed. Her heart hammered in her chest, but she assumed what the needle and drip were for and rolled up her sleeve. Smug thanked her and she looked away as it was inserted. She couldn’t stand the sight of a needle going into skin. She never had been able to for some reason. 

Sero didn’t even notice it enter; she hadn’t felt a thing, but she watched Smug move back to the other needle he was preparing. She kept her eyes on him, not daring to look at where she was hooked up. 

She tried thinking on the positive side: she was guaranteed to be smiling again. 

**_Then why am I still so scared?_ **

Her mind questioned herself, but the private interrogation was cut off.

“Now, you are going to feel a little bit of a...sting...but I promise you this is for the best. Refrain from thrashing around.” Smug held out his hand for her to hold again and in the other hand, the needle pointed up sinisterly, ready to enter her bloodstream. 

She took his hand quickly and sealed her eyes shut, her fate being sealed from the moment she was in Smug’s lab and this being the definite point of no return. 

Her grip was tight...just as many others’ had been. But thankfully she was not nearly as difficult as others. Smug injected the syringe and slowly let the fluid inside seep into the drip bag. 

In a sudden burst of burning pain, Sero let out a cry and nearly crushed Smug’s hand with her own. She gritted her teeth as her mind raced in questioning fear and her head spun with peculiar spiraling waves; spiraling waves that hit her frontal lobe, then temporal, then ever region and crevice of her mind, altering her chemicals and stability.

Spiraling waves. 

Spiraling reality.

Spiraling sanity.

Then nothing.

 

Sero’s grip ceased along with her movement. She was out. Smug sighed and shook his hand as it was freed from her constricting grip. 

That was relatively simple. Just as most cases were. She would wake in some hours and will be smiling like all the other citizens. 

He stood up and made his way back to the other side of the room, placing his bag back over his head and adjusting his goggles. He pressed a button on the phone from before, which connected to an intercom system.

“Two Hat Bot sentitals to take a patient to the hospital, two Hat Bot sentitals to take a patient to the hospital.” He clicked it off and walked back over to clean up the area, when the two requested sentitals arrived at the door, he wiped his gloves and opened the entrance.

“Here is the paperwork and amount on Sero Z. Apine, give her a vacant room and be sure she stays overnight.” Smug stepped to the side and pointed to her. “There is the said patient. Be wary of the drip. Get her out now.” He instructed. 

One sentital got the papers and the other careful walked across the room, picking up Sero and holding her gingerly. Just as quickly as they came, they left and closed the door behind them to place Sero in her directed location. Smug would check on her the next day once her consciousness was regained. 

 

It was very dark. Black.

Solid black.

But there was something different about this darkness than the darkness of her old solitude...the depth of before felt replaced with something…

Shallow. 

_ The smell...it smells nice. Like candy.  _

_ Like fun.    _

But it was all still black…

The feeling...soft. Nice warm feeling. 

She felt…

_ Happy. _

Sero opened her eyes slowly and she finally saw more colors...and light. The light didn’t hurt now...and the colors weren’t so grey anymore. 

The last thing she remembered seeing was  _ his  _ face, and the last thing she felt was overwhelming pain that was said to be necessary…

Where was she?

She looked around. It was a pretty vacant room, no one else but her, and there was a window. It was pretty outside. Sunny. It must be morning. 

There was something to the side...looked like a person. She was hesitant to look, but her head moved and staring back at her was her reflection…

Beaming…

She was... _ smiling.  _

_ It worked…! _

The small grin broadened, wider and wider until she was laughing.  _ She could laugh!  _

This was incredible! Astounding! Just what she wanted…! It was just like before!

But still...something was feeling a little different this time. But she couldn’t place a finger on what it could be.. _.but no matter! _

There was a small knock outside of the door, snapping her back from her sudden euphoric swing. She paused her laughing and gave a small cough. “Come in~!” Her voice pitched like a song.

Smug was a little surprised from what he heard as a response. He was not surprised it had worked, of course, but most patients after having a dose the size he gave her, made more...incoherent and hysterical sounds. She was laughing hysterically a few seconds previously, but by the sound of it all, she seemed to be…

Hysterically sane, almost

_ That would be a dangerous mixture in a Smile Citizen... _

He opened the door, stepping inside her room. “Good morning, Sero. You seem to be making a very nice recovery, yes?” 

“Oh yes indeed, doctor~! I feel one hundred percent and ready! You are a magic worker, sir!” She smiled up at him giving a thumbs up.

He noticed changes in her character clearly; personality wise, but also physically. Her hair was now deep black on one side and a platinum blonde on the other. It looked long and healthy, running down her back. Her eyes had also changed, the grey one was now gold with a black ring around the iris, but the other eye which was pale was not black with a gold ring around the iris and a gold pupil. Eyes changing was a common thing, but this was rather strange. He quickly concluded the other eye underwent trauma from the fall and adjusted from the chemicals. 

“That is good news. You can be released now and go back to you home!” He walked over and began to undo the drip from her.

But suddenly the wide smile from Sero dropped, the corners of her mouth falling flat. Smug looked to her and paused, blinking. 

_ Something is not right about her...why is her smile not constant? She should not be like this so early after the operation… _ Smug’s mind thought uneasily. 

“...Is there...a problem?” 

Sero stared into his eyes, unmoving, making Smug more uncomfortable at the odd behavior. “I can...go?” 

“Yes, that is right...don’t you want to go bac-” 

“No.” She said quickly before he could even finish his words. “No I don’t.” 

Smug took a step back from her and straightened his back. What could have possibly gone wrong in the operation? He had done everything as planned…! Did she have a stronger will to power? “Exactly why not?”

The smile crept back onto her face again, wider than before. “You are such a hard working, wonderful doctor. Why would I want to leave~?” She placed a hand on her chest presenting herself in a confident manner. “If _ Sero _ has to go back to regular society, then  _ Sero _ can...but  _ I’m not Sero anymore…”  _

This was getting increasingly more odd...she was now displaying the signs of clear Dissociative Identity Disorder, but no disorders except the occasional complete mania were ever supposed to come out of these sessions.

Smug furrowed his brows, speaking with caution. “What do you mean ‘you are not Sero Z. Apine?’” 

“Well, I  _ was  _ Sero Z. Apine, but she was such a dull, unhappy, characteristically mopey person, and no one likes a person like that; not even me. So how can I possibly be expected to live freely knowing I was so.. _.unfun.”  _ She gave a small chuckle, finding her own perspective to be clever. 

She stuck out her hand and to Smug’s surprise grabbed his hand before he could know to move. She shook it firmly up and down twice. “Good day, Dr. Smug! My name is Psych and I want to be your special assistant in making sure everyone here is properly smiling and in line~”  __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, Psych is born!

**Author's Note:**

> I really had a pull to make this fic and finally tell the story of Psych from my small humor comics I make! I just thought it was about time I make the origins of Psych, and her story of how she got where she is. Clearly, it is not as happy and light as the little comics I make, but hey, at least you know she will smile in the end~! 
> 
> Thank you so much to Nivilliain~! You are a huge inspiration and so kind to me, but I don’t need to gush too much on those points because you already know. It’s about time you got some kind of gift here! You helped me so much in giving information about how everything is laid out and I hope I can keep this story on the same track and close to the way things are from all the notes I have. And most importantly, I hope you enjoy this story and that I can make it well-written enough~!  
> -Z.
> 
> Also: I have labeled this about 11 chapters long, but that may change depending on the amount I write and the detail I include, but the number will definitely NOT go down in length (like 11 to 10 - that's a no.)


End file.
